Then and Now

 Just found this, which I saved in 1999 shortly before my retirement, and has been taking up room on my hard drive ever since.

The Military: 1945 vs 1999

•  1945 - NCOs had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
• 1999 - everyone has an Internet access computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

 

• 1945 - we painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
• 1999 - they put the real thing in the cockpit.

 

•  1945 - your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive.
• 1999 - she is in the same trench praying your condom worked.

• 1945 - if you got drunk off duty your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
• 1999 - if you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

 

• 1945 - you were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
• 1999 - you spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you're out of ammo.

 

• 1945 - canteens were made of steel, and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
• 1999 - canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat anything in them, and they always taste like plastic.

 

• 1945 - officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded respect.
• 1999 - officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie.

 

• 1945 - they collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
• 1999 - they collect your pee and analyze it.

 

• 1945 - if you didn't act right, the Sergeant Major put you in the brig until you straightened up.
• 1999 - if you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

 

• 1945 - medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
• 1999 - medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters.

 

• 1945 - you slept in barracks like a soldier.
• 1999 - you sleep in a dormitory like a college kid.

 

• 1945 - you ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all the food you wanted.
• 1999 - you eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pad of butter costs, and you better not take too much.

 

• 1945 - we defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
• 1999 - we come up short against Iraq and Yugoslavia.

 

• 1945 - if you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
• 1999 - you go to the community center, and you can play pool.

 

• 1945 - if you wanted beer and conversation you went to the NCO or Officers' Club.
• 1999 - the beer will cost you $2.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

 

• 1945 - the Exchange had bargains for soldiers who didn't make much money.
• 1999 - you can get better and cheaper merchandise at Walmart.

 

• 1945 - we could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
• 1999 - we are wearing the Nazi helmets.

 

• 1945 - we called the enemy names like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them.
• 1999 - we call the enemy the "opposing force" or "aggressor" because we don't want to offend them.

 

• 1945 - victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his things were broken.
• 1999 - victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.

 

• 1945 - a commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
• 1999 - a commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

 

• 1945 - wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.
• 1999 - wars are planned by politicians with lots of equivocating.

 

• 1945 - we were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to winning.
• 1999 - we don't know what we're fighting for, and the government is committed to social programs (used to be called 'socialism').

 

• 1945 - all you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
• 1999 - all you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian again.

July 3rd...

 

Stolen fair and square from MeWe...

Some might suggest that bourbon and bacon are more appropriate. 

Earworm, Antipodean edition

Mrs. Drang, former docent at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle and the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs, is watching some Animal Planet show set at the Bronx Zoo, where they are dealing with a wallaby that some idiot had as a pet.

So, naturally...


Fav comment from YouTube:

Gary Chamberlain 4 months ago:
I got this song in my head Fred,
I got this song in my head,
It'll be there till I am dead Fred,
It'll be there till I am dead.

ADDED NOTES:

1. This is the original version, with the politically incorrect, racially insensitive 4th verse. I don't have much use for political correctness, but that attitude towards Australia's Aborigine was reprehensible. (Yes, the song could just be saying "Lay them off as they have no further employment after I've snuffed it", but if the rumors I've heard of  "Abo Hunts" are true...)
2. Apparently Mr. Harris had some rather unsavory habits, and was pretty much unpersoned. This is unfortunate, but doesn't change the fact that this is a fun song. 

This reminds me that I missed ANZAC Day.

Sorry, Mate.



And, ANZAC Day:

PSA

LOL of the Day

I didn't just LOL, I guffawed, right there in the Salt Mines.

GDPR Statment

I keep getting told the Euro-Weenies say I have to make a statement about Euro-Weenie privacy. (The first syllable of which is probably supposed to rhyme with "privy.")

Randall Munroe of XKCD.com has done a masterful job of summing the situation up, I believe:

©2018 Randall Munroe, XKCD,com
"This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License."

Seriously, the only data I could be considered to be keeping is if you leave a comment here, and the fact is I delete most comments I get as spam.

What Google, Blogger, and/or Blogspot (assuming there's a difference, which I doubt) may do with incidental data they scoop up as you surf blogs, I can't say. Ask them.

Wait! What? Oh, Canada!

Perusing Strategy Page, I see that the Royal Canadian Navy has a new logistics vessel, AKA Replenishment Ship. 

The MV Asterix.

Really?

It sounds like this MV Asterix is converted from a smallish commercial container ship; I can only conclude that a larger one is in the works, which will no doubt be commissioned the MV Obelix, and a hospital ship, the MV Gettafix...

EDIT: It occurs to me that perhaps I should offer this link, by way of explanation:  Asterix - Wikipedia

Challenge Accepted!

Seattle: Boy, the WTO Riots were the worst, weren't they?
Hamburg: Hold mein bier and watch this...

— Drang (@DWDrang) July 7, 2017

Helpful Hint

At the moment, we are getting heavier rainfall in the 98 double-ought 3 than is usual.

So it may be worth noting that, when attempting to use colorful colloquial expressions, one should use less than prefect grammar.

The phrase is "Rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock". Note the vulgarism and the dropped "g's".

Saying "Precipitating like a bovine urinating on a planar stone" will win you no street cred at all.

Breaking news!

I stole this fair and square...

I confess, I LOL'd

Breaking News: Brownells Announces a New Product Line

For once I kinda wish it wasn't an April Fools thing...

Making America America

So, if you don't have the time to read James Webb's excellent little book Born Fighting: How the Scots-Irish Shaped America*, Joe Bob Briggs offers the TL;DR version here: A Brief History of the Redneck - Taki's Magazine Being Joe Bob of course, his version is, well, funnier.

I like to speculate about what things would look like today if James Webb had won the Democratic nomination for President.  Frankly, when he wasn't looking,American politics shifted and he would now fully qualify as "sometimes a RINO" if he changed parties.





*Because "executive summary" somehow just doesn't apply to Joe Bob Briggs writing about rednecks...

Santa Is A Woman

I know Santa Claus is a woman.

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.

Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
               
Surely,  if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

• Men can't pack a bag.
• Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
• Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
• Men don't answer their mail.
• Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
• Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
• Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
• Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the idea that other mythical holiday characters are men:

• Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.
• Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.  Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.

But not St. Nick. Not a chance.

***

Found on the hard drive. I suspect some other member of the household left it there...

Orders

I first ran this back in '08, when this blog was shiny new and I only had one or two followers. I thought maybe, now that it's an old blog and I have a dozen or so new followers, they'd like to see it, too...

***

OPERATION ORDER 12-16 FOR:

OFFICIAL VISIT OF LTG SANTA CLAUS

1.  An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec.  The following directives govern activities of all personnel during the visit.

 a.  Not a creature will stir without permission.  This includes warrant officers and mice.  Soldiers may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1.  Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.

 b.  All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December.  Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position.  Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours.  While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items.  Remember, this is the "season of giving."

c.  Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for visions  to dance through their heads.  Sugar plums are available in "T" ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced.

 d.  Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys with care.  Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly hung stockings.  1SG's will submit stocking handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec.  All leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are briefed on the safety aspects of stocking hanging.

 e.  At first clatter, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate the cause.  Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes.  On order OPLAN 12-16 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), dated 4 December, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash  throwing.  SDO and all CQs will be familiar with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in Bldg 9828 prior to the start of official clatter.

 f.  Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment will be assigned "wandering eyeball" stations.  The SDNCO will ensure that these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn and sashes are thrown.

 g.  The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security Agency and the Motor Pool will assign one each Sleigh, Miniature, M-24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LTG Claus.  The assigned driver must have a current sleigh operators license with roof top permit and evidence of attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his DA Form 348.  Driver must also be able to clearly shout "On Dasher, On Dancer, etc."

 2.  LTG Claus will initially enter Bldg 9828 through the dayroom.  All offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M6A2 for use during the visit.  Draw chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1 which will be submitted in four copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec.  Personnel will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before turn-in at the conclusion of visit.

3.  Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” or "Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good Night." This shout will be given upon termination of the visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each section NCOIC.

FOR THE COMMANDER GOODE, U. B.  LTC, OD

Executive Officer

To anyone who was in The Salt Mines today...

...wondering  why the otherwise apparently respectable middle-age(ish) guy in the corner was giggling like a mad man at his cell today, read this: View From The Porch: Breathtaking lack of self-awareness...

I need one of those t-shirts. My only regret is that there is no way to get it in time for Monday's two-day class.

Happy Birthday...

...Schlock Mercenary.

Which, if you've never read it -- and why not? -- is a webcomic Comic Space Opera by Howard Tayler.

Which actually launched 16 hears ago yesterday.  As Howard says

Commentary: Today's strip is the 5,845th daily installment of Schlock Mercenary. The strip has been running for 835 weeks, Monday through Sunday, which means that today it has been online for sixteen years and one day.
When Schlock Mercenary first aired on June 12th of 2000 the #1 song on the Pop charts was Santana's "Maria, Maria" and the #10 song was Britney Spears' "Oops!.. I Did It Again." Tony Blair was the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Bill Clinton was the President of the United States, and Americans had yet to be introduced to the term "dimpled chad."
There was no Facebook, no Twitter, and LiveJournal was just 14 months old. MySpace hadn't been born yet, nor had two of the kids living at Chez Tayler with Sandra and Howard. Beginning with today's Schlock Mercenary strip, Americans born after Schlock Mercenary launched will start being able to drive...

 He left out "SFC D.W. Drang was still in Korea, waiting for his retirement leave to start", but one cannot expect artists to keep track of these things.

Towards A Taxonomy of Some Types of the Gun Culture

 I've been thinking, or maybe over-thinking, about this for a while as you might suspect...
And I may or may not have displayed some of these behaviors at one time or another...

@Copyright 2016, D.W. Drang and The Cluemeter.

***

Towards A Taxonomy of Some Types of the Gun Culture
Fudd: Primary interest is in killing things (animate or inanimate) for sport, preferably using a gun made of blued steel and wood. Little interest in politics, beyond the politics of his/her preferred game animal.

Gun Store Commando: Often also encountered at gun shows, rarely seen at the range. Has no compunctions about sharing information, which is frequently inaccurate, and usually based on what he read somewhere or something someone he knows or knew claimed happened far, far away. Unless it is merely opinion or prejudice, ditto what he read somewhere, etc., etc.
Fond of "sound bites" like "They all fall to hardball", "God made man, Sam Colt made men equal", "Any caliber will do as long as it starts with a '4'", "ARs shit where they eat", etc.
Refuses to allow himself to be confused by the facts, i.e., just try and convince him that a snub-nosed J Frame-sized .38 Special is a less than ideal firearm for anyone new to pistols, especially the elderly, infirm, or small in stature.

Tactical Timmy: Obsessed with military equipment, nomenclature, terminology, and procedures. Has full sets of camouflage uniforms and load bearing and other gear "as used by xxxx!", where "xxxx" represents the "Flavor Of The Day" in elite military units. Must have latest and greatest gear ascribed to said "FOTD" unit, regardless of whether said gear is actually being used or not.
Obsessed with technical details of weapons and equipment he will never own, or have a practical use for if he owned it.

Unlike the Gun Store Commando, the Tactical Timmy will actually spend time at the range, but due to his insistence on owning all the latest and greatest will likely accomplish little, since he has too much "kit" with him.

Cletus: (Thanks to Tamara Keel for her ground-breaking work on identifying this specimen.)
Owns a gun. Spends as little as possible on ancillary equipment and supplies, like ammunition or holsters. If seen at a range, is apparently more interested in making noise than in safety, precision of shots, or in learning effective gun handling skills.
Like the Gun Store Commando, his decisions are based on myth, lore, and received wisdom. (Or "wisdom"...)
Also like the Gun Store Commando, is regrettably not shy about sharing his "knowledge."
Notes on the Cletii:

1. Feminine form: Lurleen. 
2. The plural form, "Cletii" is often mis-used by those of less than rigorous dedication to accuracy as interchangeable with the singular form, "Cletus".
3. "Cletus" is a generic name, and also tends to describe a sub-genre; other acceptable forms may take forms such as "T-Bone", "J-Dawg", "Boracho", etc.
4. There is some dispute as to whether the Cletii are really part of the gun culture, but if you spend enough time at gun shops, shows and ranges, you are sure to encounter them.

Overheard In The Salt Mines

"Operations"

"I'd like to report a suspicious object."

"Please describe the nature and location of the object." {Thinking: "Rattrap or fire extinguisher?"}

"It's round and a pale yellow in color, and it's emitting a blinding light and some heat. It's located about 40 degrees above the horizon due east of the Salt Mines."

"..."

"Hello?"

"Sir, that's the sun."

"The sun? Is that what it looks like? I'd heard of it... Look, my  minions on the Public Level are complaining, can you get hold of Safety or Logistics or someone and get them some dark glass... Hello? Hello?

"Sorry guys, guess you'd better just squint."

This oughta be good...

I've never had any interest in watching this show, but:

Obama to test wilderness skills on Bear Grylls TV show | Reuters

Considering that the man's concept of "wilderness" is slicing into the rough...

Laugh of the day

Urging civility, Obama appeals to Jews on Iran deal

Urging civil...

BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Urging ci...

BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Obama urges ci...

Oh, stop!  You're killin' me!