DYAC! Bearcat Edition

So, since I'm still struggling with the Lingering Crud, I added Theraflu to the shopping list.  This afternoon Mrs. Drang texted me:

Mrs. Drang: No more thermally.  Pharmacist recommends alkaline shelter.

Me: Doesn't sound too healthy.

Mrs. Drang: Pork chops for dinner.  Want me to slice you some Khomeini?

Me: No ayatollah for me, I will have some kohl rabi, though.

Mrs. Drang says everything was spelled the way it was supposed to be, until she hit send and then the spelling was "corrected"...