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A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere,) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferrable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.)
(Yeah, I now it's old. I first received it on the Alt.Smokers.Pipes usenet newsgroup ten years ago. Consider it a shot at the PC everywhere, as well as a sincere wish to friends and family everywhere for a joyous holiday season, whichever holiday they celebrate, and a happy, healthy, and successful new year.)
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