FLASH! HELL FREEZES OVER!

From Sound Politics:

RECORD LOW TEMPERATURES REPORTED IN HADES

Seattle Times reporters just returned from a fact finding mission a few thousand miles below the Earth's surface and have confirmed that hell has, indeed, frozen over.

"I think it's super." said former Olympic champion Kristi Yamaguchi. "I can't wait to lace up my skates!"

Starbucks is planning to open 16 new stores, two on each level of the first levels and one each on the last two levels.

"Come enjoy some smooth jazz and a double helping of kimchi," welcomed current mayor Ghengis Khan.

No word yet on whether cash for clunker dollars are valid in Hell but President Obama did say that Brimstone Industries, the company that provides energy to Hell, will be allowed to participate in the Cap & Trade program.

In other news, the Seattle Times endorsed Susan Hutchison.

 I guess they decided that she isn't really a closet Republican.  Then again, they did endorse G.W. Bush in 2000.