You might end your own pain, but you just transfer it to those who care about you.
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Link goes here: Bob Owens' Suicide
I never met Bob Owens. I dropped comments at one or the other of his blogs over the years, but so far as I know he never knew who I am.
Nevertheless, we in the gun blogging and gun rights' communities have lost one of our own.
The sad thing is, I was discussing this matter the other day with a peer and colleague and friend at work, who was concerned about one of her crew. I suppose she expected me to pull some magic solution out of my ass, since he is also a retired NCO. I'm sure she was disappointed when I came up blank.
Bob Owens' Suicide
This is a man's depression.
It starts subtly, covertly. It creeps in on little cat feet.
It isn't a feeling of sadness. You're irritable, irascible, short-tempered. Often, you feel unusually tired, often achy -- it feels like you have a bit of a cold, or maybe the flu. You're not hungry, or you're hungry but nothing tastes good, nothing is appealing.
You start having trouble sleeping. Either you can't get to sleep, or you get to sleep but wake up at 3 a.m., and can't get back to sleep. Either way, you lie awake, and your thoughts start going to dark places -- replaying humiliations from your past, or fantasizing trouble in your future.
Of course, now that you're missing sleep, you're even more tired, more cranky. People start to wonder what's wrong, but they don't ask because it's not the sort of thing one does; and you know something is wrong, but you don't talk about it because you've been taught since childhood that men just pull up their socks and get on with life. Besides, it's not like anyone can do anything -- you just need to gut it out. No one said you were going to be happy all the time.
Go read the whole thing. And look out for the signs, if your buddy, your brother, your husband father co-worker neighbor whoever is showing the signs.
He may not know what is wrong. The problem is especially acute in "macho" fields like the military, law enforcement, construction, and so forth.
I'll close with a quote of the final paragraph of Charlie Martins' essay:
If this sounds familiar, if you see yourself in this description, you may be depressed, and yes, you can be depressed and not realize it. This is a depression screener; it doesn't take long. If you're thinking those dark thoughts, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is there, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, at 800-273-8255. They understand, it's completely anonymous, and you don't have to be suicidal to call them. And if you're of a mind to, there is a GoFundMe for Bob Owens' wife and kids.